Following on from the previous guest post from sex and relationship author Adam Davey on some of the myths out there regarding premature ejaculation and how to last longer in bed in this post we will be looking at one of what Adam identifies as one of the seven core skills that men need to develop on order to gain full ejaculatory control.
The specific skills we will look at in this post are breathing and meditative skills. We’ll be looking at how they help to prevent premature ejaculation, when you should be doing them and why they are a great area to start with when you are just starting out learning the skills of ejaculatory control.
The many befits of breathing correctly during intercourse
While the breathing component focuses on delivering more oxygen to the blood through slow, deep and control breaths, it is also effective at relaxing the muscles, reducing tension and alleviating anxiety and mental stress. The meditative techniques then take it a step further helping you to become even more relaxed and calmly confident.
Although this simplifies things a bit I guess you could consider the breathing techniques a physical action that then passes the baton onto the more meditative focus which will all work together to finally take you to a spot we can call “In the Zone”.
A solid foundation
In his book on lasting longer in bed Last Longer Now, Adam talks about how it is important to not only use these methods during sex but also at the early stages of intercourse and even before sex has even begun. It’s all about starting from a solid foundation which is why it’s so important to get your breathing working and helping you right from the start.
If you are just starting out with a premature ejaculation prevention program, the breathing methods are a great place to start because they are dead easy to learn. If fact you can pick them up in as little as 15 minutes. They will also work really quickly and start helping you last longer right of the tip. And finally, it’s crucial you get the basics of breathing right from the beginning because it will make it just so much easier to develop and improve your skills of ejaculatory control within the other core skill-sets.
You can learn more about Adam Davey’s Last Longer Now program and all of the 7 skills of longer lasting intercourse at his website.
This is a guest post by Adam Davey – Mens sexual health coach and author of Last Longer Now. – Phill
As a specialist in mens sexual health issues and particularly premature ejaculation I cant help but notice how much inaccurate, misleading and downright ridiculous advice there is online when it comes to ways guys can last longer in bed. Time after time I seem to come across the same myths repeated over and over without any practical advice on how to last longer that actually works.
What makes this so frustrating for me is that, as a guy who teachers men how to last longer in bed, I know how successful men can be at beating this problem once they get the right advice in their hands. So in this article I’ll be busting the most common 3 myths regarding premature ejaculation and then explaining what you need to do to fix this problem for good.
Myth number 1: You can last longer in bed by distracting yourself.
Now I see this repeated in 9 out of 10 articles on lasting longer which is a real shame because it is the exact opposite to what you should be doing during intercourse.
If you’re a guy lacking control in bed you have probably tried something like this before. Thinking about baseball perhaps, reciting you 23 times tables or maybe even imagining the ugliest thought possible. Now chances are, it didn’t work very well, or if it did give you a few extra minutes it surely wasn’t the most pleasurable experience for either you or your girl.
What I teach the guys that come to see me is to do the exact opposite to this. But there’s a trick to it. The key is to tune in to everything that is going on around you during sex. You can’t just be focused on what’s happening downstairs. You gotta tune right into everything that going on between you and the beautiful woman you’re with. As you caress her body you should be really zoning into the feeling of her curves and skin. Even the feel of her hair or soft breath, and noises you can hear.
What this will actually do once you get it right is stop you from only concentrating on the feeling in your genital region. You’ll start to loosen up, loose track of time and start actually enjoying the moment like you should.
I don’t know about you, but I’d take this any day of the week compared to thinking about some sweaty baseball player while I’m with my girl.
Myth number 2: The stop and start method
The stop and start method was developed and used quite a bit back in the 70s and back then it was the first time someone had tried to put together an organized method to combat premature ejaculation. Along with the dreaded “squeeze technique” this was pretty much all the advice guys looking to last longer had on offer.
These techniques made the fundamental mistake of confining the ejaculatory process to the pelvic area and failed to realize that the whole chain of events that leads to ejaculation begins at a much earlier stage.
Once guys start learning about the core triggers and develop ways to control them at the source there is absolutely no need for this continuous stopping and starting ever again.
Another reason why I hate seeing this advice everywhere is because it shows total disregard to your partners stimulation and satisfaction, as each “stop” will also lead to her decreasing arousal. And let’s face it guys – stopping to squeeze the tip of your penis every 30 seconds isn’t the biggest turn-on a girl can imagine.
Myth number 3: Using Kegels exercises to last longer in bed
Kegels are an exercise performed by the PC muscle which just happens to be the muscle responsible for creating the sensation of orgasm and firing off an ejaculation. This connection was made at a time when Kegels were primarily used by pregnant women in preparation for childbirth and before you new it, everyone was recommending Kegels as an exercises to cure premature ejaculation. There was only one problem… they didn’t work.
The reason for this is simple, yet so often misunderstood even by so called experts. It’s because Kegals focus on building the strength of this muscle and not it’s control. It’s easy to flex this muscle, but it’s the flexing and tension within the muscle that cause the problem in the first place. What you need to do is the opposite and learn how relax or ‘de-tense’ this muscle.
This is were the focus is on when I teach guys exercises they can do with the PC muscle. It’s quite hard at first as most people are not used to consciously changing the state of this muscle but most guys will pick it up pretty quickly and it can make a pretty bit different to how longer you last in bed when combined with the other skills I teach.
Forget about the myths, get some good advice, then practice.
I hope this has helped you understand what is really occurring within your body during sex and given you a better understanding of what and what not to do in order to boost your lasting time. I have mentioned a few of the techniques you can use to last longer but there are a lot more tips, techniques and skills you can learn that will really take you up to the next level.
I cover all of this and much more in my detailed guide to lasting longer in bed – Last Longer Now which you can read about at my site. So now it’s time to forget about the myths and rubbishy advice, learn the many ways to last longer and start practicing and before you know it you’ll be putting in performances to be proud of night after night. Good luck with it guys!
Intimate relationships are facing major challenges in the society today. One of these challenges is premature ejaculation also known as PE. Although there is a lot of individual perception on the effects of premature ejaculation in a relationship, it is a very common and embarrassing problem. So, what is premature ejaculation? Most people have described PE as a sexual dysfunction common in men below the age of 40 years. How this is true is determined by various professionals carrying out premature ejaculation treatment who define it as the prior occurrence of ejaculation before the wishes of both partners. Studies have shown that this rapid ejaculation causes sexual frustrations and can eventually lead to a relationship breakup. Premature ejaculation has also been linked to low self esteem in men who have been allegedly reported to have this problem. Therefore, this has necessitated the need for premature ejaculation treatment in order to increase sexual and relationship satisfaction.
There are a number of effective ways to prevent premature climax, however, due to the sensitivity of the matter, most men have been forced to endure the embarrassment that comes with PE by shying off from such discussions. Research has shown that men have premature ejaculation at least once throughout their lives. This has been attributed to the variation of how long it takes a man to ejaculate and how long their partners are expecting them to last in bed. The average time that a normal man lasts in bed is around 7 minutes while that of a man having premature ejaculation is below 2 minutes. Premature ejaculation spoils the sex lives of both partners and therefore to avoid the possibility of ruining a marriage a premature ejaculation treatment is required.
Fortunately, there is a working premature ejaculation treatment and couples need not to worry any further. Women are advised to accompany their partners as they walk through the treatment in order to have a positive outcome. Here are a few treatment tips that can see the end to premature ejaculation.
For a successful last longer in bed treatment, the woman should not subject the man to performance pressure at any time. It is advised that sexual intercourse be avoided until this problem has been addressed. Therefore, the man should use other simulation methods such as manual or oral stimulation to satisfy the woman for the meantime.
The use of the start-stop technique is a sure way to stop premature ejaculation. The woman should stimulate the man slowly to a point where the intense is great and the man is about to ejaculate. At this point stimulation should then be stopped for about 15 second before embarking on the same process again. This should be done about three times before letting him to fully orgasm. This technique reduces the inevitable need to ejaculate thus stopping premature ejaculation.
In some cases, therapists advise men to masturbate or ask their partners to stimulate them to climax some few hours before the sexual encounter. Men realize that they have a much better control the second time and thus lasting for considerable time in bed.
A myriad of men have their ego bruised by the mere fact that they do not last long enough in bed. As a result, they are in search of effective and long lasting strategies to treat this mishap. There a lot of medications in the market used to treat premature ejaculation. Unfortunately, they emanate a plethora of side effects to users and their effect is temporary. This has led to introduction of a different approach of treating premature ejaculation, use of natural treatment methods. This article will thus briefly outline the natural treatment methods to last longer in bed for men, which are commonly in use today because of their high level of effectiveness.
Natural methods to can help you last longer
Natural treatment methods to last longer in bed for men have been scientifically and medically tested. They are widely accepted in the society since they emanate positive results within a very short time. In addition, the positive change is irreversible, that is, this medical condition is permanently cured. This is because natural treatment methods function by strengthening the fast and slow twitching muscle fibers around the pelvic region. In addition, there are some natural treatment methods that distract the brain, when men are about to ejaculate. This enables them to last longer and thus have satisfactory sexual intercourse.
Meditation can reduce anxiety
For instance meditation, which helps men to curb anxiety and thus extend their time in the bedroom for as long as they want through the use of a whole body approach. Anxiety highly hinders the sexual capabilities of men. This is because anxiety enhances the responsive nature of one’s body. As a result, controlling body feelings like excitement is turmoil. This explains why, in most occasions, anxious men experience premature ejaculation as soon as they begin enjoying their time. Therefore, curbing anxiety is the first step that should be implemented when aiming to permanently prevent premature ejaculation. Meditation enables men to control their anxiety, as well as muscles movement.
On the same hand, mental dissociation is among the powerful natural treatment methods to last longer in bed for men. Simply, men figure out something that they can focus their mind on when they feel the urge of ejaculating. Most men are football fanatics thus opt to think about the most spectacular event that occurred during their favorite sport. This enables them to control the overwhelming sensation around their genitals and thus prolong their time in bed.
Work on the the pubococcygeus muscle
In addition, there are various natural mechanisms that men experiencing premature ejaculation can use to control the pubococcygeus muscle (PC). This muscle controls the sexual stamina of a man. Therefore, strengthening it will definitely increase the sexual endurance of men. This is because men will be able to effectively contract and relax the muscle when it is strong. As a result, they will be in control of their lovemaking sessions and prolong it for as long as they wish.
The PC muscle can be strengthened by Kegel exercises. This entails contracting and relaxing the PC muscles for five seconds and repeating the procedure for about five minutes on a daily basis for approximately two weeks. This can be done with the help of a sexual partner or as one masturbates. The same case applies, when men adopt strategies of conditioning the pelvic muscles as one of the treatment methods to last longer in bed for men. This prevents the pelvic muscles from becoming stiff thereby curbing the ability of men to control their ejaculation. Pelvic muscles can be conditioned by engaging in breathing exercise, which reduce tension in the muscles.
Get yourself a training program to last longer
Most of the advice I have given you today will go some way to assisting you improve your bedroom performance but the problem is they are only really temporary or ‘small scale’ fixes to the problem of premature ejaculation. To go one step further to where you can totally control the timing of your ejaculation every time you will need to get a training program for men such as this really good one. There’s sections covering every single thing you will ever need to know about exactly what happens within your body during sex and the many things you can do to control exactly how it functions and reacts to all the stimulation you are receiving during sex.