As a specialist in men’s sexual health issues and particularly premature ejaculation, I can’t help but notice how much inaccurate, misleading and downright ridiculous advice there is online when it comes to ways guys can last longer in bed. Time after time I seem to come across the same myths repeated over and over without any practical advice on how to last longer that actually works.
What makes this so frustrating for me is that, as a guy who teaches men how to last longer in bed, I know how successful men can be at beating this problem once they get the right advice in their hands. So in this article, I’ll be busting the most common 3 myths regarding premature ejaculation and then explaining what you need to do to fix this problem for good.
Myth number 1: You can last longer in bed by distracting yourself.
Now I see this repeated in 9 out of 10 articles on lasting longer which is a real shame because it is the exact opposite to what you should be doing during intercourse.
If you’re a guy lacking control in bed you have probably tried something like this before. Thinking about baseball perhaps, reciting you 23 times tables or maybe even imagining the ugliest thought possible. Now chances are, it didn’t work very well, or if it did give you a few extra minutes it surely wasn’t the most pleasurable experience for either you or your girl.
What I teach the guys that come to see me is to do the exact opposite to this. But there’s a trick to it. The key is to tune in to everything that is going on around you during sex. You can’t just be focused on what’s happening downstairs. You gotta tune right into everything that goes on between you and the beautiful woman you’re with. As you caress her body you should be really zoning into the feeling of her curves and skin. Even the feel of her hair or soft breath, and noises you can hear.
What this will actually do once you get it right is stop you from only concentrating on the feeling in your genital region. You’ll start to loosen up, lose track of time and start actually enjoying the moment like you should.
I don’t know about you, but I’d take this any day of the week compared to thinking about some sweaty baseball player while I’m with my girl.
Myth number 2: The stop and start method
The stop and start method was developed and used quite a bit back in the 70s and back then it was the first time someone had tried to put together an organized method to combat premature ejaculation. Along with the dreaded “squeeze technique,” this was pretty much all the advice guys looking to last longer had on offer.
These techniques made the fundamental mistake of confining the ejaculatory process to the pelvic area and failed to realize that the whole chain of events that leads to ejaculation begins at a much earlier stage.
Once guys start learning about the core triggers and develop ways to control them at the source there is absolutely no need for this continuous stopping and starting ever again.
Another reason why I hate seeing this advice everywhere is that it shows total disregard for your partner’s stimulation and satisfaction, as each “stop” will also lead to her decreasing arousal. And let’s face it guys – stopping to squeeze the tip of your penis every 30 seconds isn’t the biggest turn-on a girl can imagine.
Myth number 3: Using Kegels exercises to last longer in bed
Kegels are an exercise performed by the PC muscle which just happens to be the muscle responsible for creating the sensation of orgasm and firing off an ejaculation. This connection was made at a time when Kegels were primarily used by pregnant women in preparation for childbirth and before you knew it, everyone was recommending Kegels as an exercise to cure premature ejaculation. There was only one problem… they didn’t work.
The reason for this is simple, yet so often misunderstood even by so-called experts. It’s because Kegals focus on building the strength of this muscle and not control. It’s easy to flex this muscle, but it’s the flexing and tension within the muscle that causes the problem in the first place. What you need to do is the opposite and learn how to relax or ‘de-tense’ this muscle.
This is where the focus is on when I teach guys exercises they can do with the PC muscle. It’s quite hard at first as most people are not used to consciously changing the state of this muscle but most guys will pick it up pretty quickly and it can make a pretty bit different to how long you last in bed when combined with the other skills I teach.
Forget about the myths, get some good advice, then practice.
I hope this has helped you understand what is really occurring within your body during sex and give you a better understanding of what and what not to do in order to boost your lasting time. I have mentioned a few of the techniques you can use to last longer but there are a lot more tips, techniques, and skills you can learn that will really take you up to the next level.
I cover all of this and much more in my detailed guide on how to last longer in bed – Ejaculation Freedom which you can read about at my site. So now it’s time to forget about the myths and rubbishy advice, learn the many ways to last longer and start practicing and before you know it you’ll be putting in performances to be proud of night after night. Good luck with it guys!